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| by Spion | Points: 18 | Vote: Funny - Sucks |
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"Being L33t with Gentoo is considerably more useful to society than being a gang member despite the similarity of speech and behavior of the two groups." Gang members: beat the shit out of the new guy to have him join the gang. Afterwards there are hugs and lemonade. Gentoo users: beat the shit out of their dad's Packard Bell trying to get Gentoo installed. Afterwards there is a 72 hour wait before they can do anything useful with their pc. Gang members: enjoy carrying various forms of weaponry such as knives and fully automatic assault rifles. Gentoo users: enjoy carrying Gentoo Unreal Tournament live cds. Gang members: rate each other on the amount of money they have, the number of rival members they've killed, and how many bitches they've got up in the guts with. Gentoo users: rate each other on breadth and depth of Linux knowledge, ebuild scripting, and how many machines Gentoo is currently running on. by Afrosheen (42464) (on slashdot) | ||
| by Spion | Points: 12 | Vote: Funny - Sucks |
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Last month, a worldwide survey was conducted by the UN. The only question asked was: "Would you please give your honest opinion about solutions to the food shortage in the rest of the world?" The survey was a huge failure because: - In Africa, people didn't know what "food" means; - In Eastern Europe, they didn't know what "honest" means; - In Western Europe, they didn't know what "shortage" means; - In China, they didn't know what "opinion" means; - In the Middle East, they didn't know what "solution" means; - In South America, they didn't know what "please" mean; - In the USA, they didn't know what "the rest of the world" means. | ||
| by Spion | Points: 14 | Vote: Funny - Sucks |
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Why are black people good at basketball? - Because they can run, shoot and steal. | ||
| by Spion | Points: 126 | Vote: Funny - Sucks |
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What do you do when you see your TV moving around at the middle of the night? - You turn the light on and you shoot that NIgER! | ||
| by Spion | Points: 14 | Vote: Funny - Sucks |
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Two retired professors were vacationing with their wives at a hotel in the Catskills. They were sitting on the veranda one summer evening, watching the sun set. The history professor asked the psychology professor, "Have you read Marx?" To which the professor of psychology replied, "Yes and I think it's these pesky wicker chairs." | ||
| by Spion | Points: 10 | Vote: Funny - Sucks |
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* Good girls loosen a few buttons when it's hot. Bad girls make it hot by loosening a few buttons. * Good girls only own one credit card and rarely use it. Bad girls only own one bra and rarely use it. * Good girls wax their floors. Bad girls wax their bikini lines. * Good girls blush during love scenes in a movie. Bad girls know they could do it better. * Good girls think they're not fully dressed without a strand of pearls. Bad girls think they're fully dressed with just a strand of pearls. * Good girls wear high heels to work. Bad girls wear high heels to bed. * Good girls say, ''Don't... Stop...'' Bad girls say, ''Don't Stop...'' | ||
| by Spion | Points: 15 | Vote: Funny - Sucks |
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What do you get when you cross a rooster with a jar of peanut butter? A cock that sticks to the roof of your mouth. | ||